Advent
A Sermon byThe Reverend Roberta Nelson and Katherine Jesch
November 26, 2000
Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Church
Bethesda, Maryland
Can Advent help us prepare for a gentle landing on December 25th? Advent means coming, and was
originally used to denote the coming of Christ and, by implication, the day of his birth. Eventually its
meaning was expanded to refer to the four weeks leading up to Christmas. Of course the traditional
meaning of Advent does not have meaning for most Unitarian Universalists, but it can provide us with an
opportunity to prepare for the season. We can use the time to focus on the spiritual values of Christmas
and become aware of the customs and stories that give meaning to the holiday season.
Since before Halloween, we have been surrounded by the ads, decorations, and music declaring the
countdown to Christmas. By mid December, it will have built to a frenzy and some of us will try to keep
pace with all the demands: cards, gifts, decorations, mailings, parties, special meals -- life will be rushing
on and we will ask ourselves "Is this all there is?"
Unfortunately there is more. Christmas is an emotionally charged time of year that comes with more
messages, images, and expectations than some of us can bear.
Several years ago, two women, Jo Robinson and Jean Staeheli, wrote their book Unplug the Christmas
Machine. Their intent was to help people put more love and joy back into the season and enabling people
to realistically plan for it. For several years, I have led a workshop using the book and its inventories as a
guide. The authors maintain that "... the Christmas Machine has power over us because it knows how to
woo us; it speaks to the deepest, profoundest, and most sacred desires of the human heart." The messages
are ones we want to believe. The "machine" affects each of us differently but we are all vulnerable to its
demands.
The inventories early in the workshop ask you to examine your life style, determine the work of
Christmas, write down your tasks and how much time you have to complete them, and then to identify
those tasks you do not enjoy doing. The difficult decision for all of us is giving up some of those things we
do not enjoy but have come to believe are essential to a truly memorable holiday.
We also know that there are a myriad of conflicting and painful associations with Christmas: a death,
divorce, illness, a move, or an experience of family discord. Over and over again in the workshop, people
mention time, money, and unreal performance expectations as the hardest part of the holiday season.
Many years ago, I read a story of a mother who always felt overwhelmed at this time of year. She busied
herself year after year working to produce the perfect Christmas. As you can well imagine, she always fell
far short of her own expectations and often wondered how she could entice her family to share in the
preparations. As the season approached once again, she decided that she would not do anything until
someone asked, e.g., find a tree, bake cookies, or make decorations. When someone raised the issue, then
the two of them would do something about it. For her, her decision provided a calmer, saner, more
enjoyable holiday and, as far she could tell, everyone had a celebration more in keeping with the spirit of
the season.
As many of you know, a year ago I was recovering from a serious illness. My energy was limited. My
situation required me to rethink some of my holiday traditions -- Christmas had to be simpler. This was
not an easy decision for me to make because I truly love this holiday.
I found these words of Maria Harris helpful --
Sisters, brothers,
Take your time, go slowly.
Listen deep inside yourself,
Simple things are holy.
It did not always work, but her message helped give me perspective. Most of us find it a challenge to
create a simple value-centered Christmas amidst all the commercial pressure we experience. In their
book, Robinson and Staeheli identify four often unspoken needs:
- a relaxed and loving time with the family,
- realistic expectations about gifts,
- an evenly paced holiday season, and
- reliable family traditions.
Meeting these needs is not easily achieved. It requires concentration and determination. Each of us will
need to refocus our energy in order to create a celebration that meets our needs and expectations. The
hardest part is making sure that what we are doing is what we want to be doing. There are no right or
wrong answers. No shoulds. For the holiday to be rich in meaning, you need to decide what is most
important, just as I had to do a year ago.
As Jane Rzepka reminds us, we need to look to our rip cords. The season calls out for silence and
reflection. It calls out for awe and mystery. It calls out for ritual and meditation. It calls out for the
courage to grow in togetherness. It calls out for the acceptance of ourselves and others. It calls out for
greater understanding among people.
Advent invites us to look for daily or weekly rituals that bring joy and anticipation to our lives. Advent
invites us to think about the deeper meanings of the season as we light the weekly candles of faith, hope,
love, and joy. Advent invites us to pace ourselves so that we do not rush headlong toward a one-day event
on December 25th.
Roberta M. Nelson
November 25, 2000
Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Church
9601 Cedar Lane
Bethesda, Maryland 20814-4099
Tel: 301-493-8300
Fax: 301-897-5713
e-mail:n cluuc@his.com
Sunday Services at 10:00 a.m.
(one service only throughout the summer)
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