Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Church
9601 Cedar Lane, Bethesda, Maryland 20814-4099
Tel: 301-493-8300    Fax: 301-897-5713
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HOME

Using the Time We Have

A Sermon Given
by Rev. Roger Fritts
on December 29, 2002
at Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Church
Bethesda, Maryland


This coming Tuesday evening at midnight we will celebrate the passage of time, saying goodbye to the year 2002 and hello to the year 2003. Like the other, more personal celebrations of the passage of time, our birthdays, this change in our calendars motivates us to make an assessment of our lives. We look at what we have accomplished over the past year, and asked ourselves if we are happy and satisfied with how we have spent the past three hundred and sixty-five days. We review our achievements and some of us use the occasion to make resolutions to behave in different, healthier, more productive, and more satisfying ways in the coming year.

According to the newspapers the most common News Years resolutions have to do with diet. Although it would been good if I lost weight, I shall not add to the millions of words that are spoken on this subject.

I do struggle with an issue of how I manage my time. Each year, each month, and each week I am tempted to make a new resolution that I will be careful not to commit too much; to use my time more efficiently; to do more to help others; to spend more time with my family; to get more exercise; to keep in closer touch with family and with the congregation; and to get back to working on that book I started to write three years ago.

The Bible offers some good advice on this subject, where God is described in Genesis as resting on the seventh day. In managing our time, if we follow the Jewish tradition, we should all take at least one day off from work each week.

Another religious concept which I use as a guide is the financial concept of tithing, giving away ten percent of what we earn. Applied to managing my time, I try to spend at least part of my time helping others, in ways that are of no direct benefit to myself. This is fairly easy for me to do, because my role as a minister calls on me to spend some of my time helping others.

Another rule of time management that I got from religion came from a book by a minister, offering advice on how to manage our week. He said, "Your ministry and life will be greatly enhanced if you do a few things well rather than many not so well."

So I take one day off a week, I try to spend part of my time helping others, and I try to do a few things well instead of doing a lot of things poorly. These three guides are useful, but still I often struggle to manage my day.

For some of you this is also an issue in your lives. A 1996 Wall Street Journal survey found that forty percent of Americans say that lack of time was a bigger problem for them than lack of money. This is strange. For the vast majority of people who have ever lived on the earth, this situation would have seemed unimaginable. For most humans the biggest problem, the most valuable and scare commodity has been food, and water and shelter, or safety from disease.

Today I live a life of privilege that would have been unimaginable just a few generations back. For example, I have three healthy children. My Great-Great-grandparents were married in 1842. The problems of survival they faced make my problems seem trivial in comparison. Their first child was born in 1843 and died five days later. Their second child was born in 1844 and died two months later. Their third child was born in 1845 and died at the age of 13. Their forth child was born in 1847 and died two weeks later. Their fifth child was born in 1848 and died three months later. Their sixth child was born in 1850 and died in 1922. All together they had twelve children and seven of then died before the age of fourteen.

By moving from Europe to America and by working hard with millions of other people, my ancestors have given me a wonderful life that is far more comfortable than any they lived, and that offers far more opportunities to do wonderful things than they ever had.

Of course, this is part of the pressure that I feel. Knowing that I have a far more comfortable life then my ancestors, with many more opportunities then they had, I feel that I should not waste these opportunities.

In the same way I do research when I buy a car, I have done some research on the subject of time management. Unfortunately, I have not yet found a guide to time management that is a reliable as the consumer magazines with their reviews about cars. Still I have found some useful information. John P. Robinson, is Professor of Sociology and Director of the Americans’ Use of Time Project at the Survey Research Center of the University of Maryland. He is the author of several books dealing with the use of time and the quality of life.

Dr. Robinson has studied our use of time by asking a cross section of Americans to fill out a Time Diary, describing how we spent our time. According to the results

  • We Americans spend about seventy hours a week in what Dr. Robinson calls "Personal Care Time." This refers to the biological necessities of human existence. Of these seventy hours we spend about fifty-five hours a week sleeping. We spend about eight hours a week grooming that is— taking showers, brushing our teeth, and getting dressed. And we spend about seven hours a week eating.
     
  • The average adult spends about forty hours a week doing paid work.
     
  • The average adult spends about twenty hours a week doing Family Care. This includes an average of three hours a week doing child care, five hours shopping, and twelve hours doing house work.
     
  • This leaves about forty hours a week for what Dr. Robinson Calls "free time."
  • Although a popular book called The Over Worked American was published ten years ago, claiming that Americans are losing free time, Dr. Robinson’s Time-Diary studies suggest that between 1965 and 1995 the average American’s free time has increased by about five hours a week. Many people argue with this conclusion because they feel more rushed and overwhelmed today than they felt a few years ago. However, because on average, we are two or three children instead of four or five, and because, on average, fewer adults are getting married, and because on average people are retiring at 60 instead of 65, the average adult’s free time is five hours a week more than it was in 1965. The people with the least amount of free time are persons with graduate degrees between the ages of 45 and 55, who are married and have children. I have a Master’s Degree, I am 51, I am married, and I have three children. This may explain why time management is a issue in my life. However, before I go too far in claiming victim status, I should add that even those of us in this busy demographic group had more free time in the 1995 study then our predecessors had in 1965.

    The study gave a detailed report on how we spend this forty hours of average free time each week. The average person spends about thirteen hours a week in what the researchers called recreational activities. This includes: joking or walking, playing golf or tennis, taking adult education classes, playing cards, going to the movies, going to a concert, and hobbies. Needlepoint is the most popular hobby among women, and playing with a computer the most popular hobby among men. Gardening is a popular activity for men and women. We spend an average of thirteen hours a week in such activities.

    We spend an average of eight hours a week socializing with friends. This includes talking with people on the phone, writing a letter or an e-mail or having a drink together. Obviously some socializing takes place while playing golf, so many of us spend even more than eight hours a week socializing. This includes an average of one hour a week in a religious activity such as going to church.

    We spend a average of three hours a week reading or listening to recorded music. This includes the time we spend reading the newspaper or a magazine.

    We Americans spend about sixteen hours a week watching television. We have about forty hours of free time each week, and we spend about sixteen hours of it watching television.

    Of all the things people do, what do they enjoy the most? In the 1985 study of how Americans spend their time, they ask people to rate the things they do on an enjoyment scale. Looking for guidance about how to live my life, I looked at the list:

    The thing that people most enjoy doing is sex. This is followed closely by playing sports, like golf or tennis. And right after sex and sports comes fishing as the third most enjoyable activity. After fishing comes art and music, followed by going to bars and lounges.

    After bars, comes playing with kids, giving others hugs and kisses, and talking and reading to kids. After talking and reading with kids three activities tied as equally enjoyable for the average American: going to movies, sleeping, and going to church. Of course, in our Adult Education Program here at Cedar Lane you can come to church to see a movie and fall asleep, in this way tripping your enjoyment.

    At the bottom of the list as the least enjoyable activities, were going to the doctor or the dentist, or the least desirable activity, taking a car to a repair shop.

    In the middle of the list was watching television, which was equal in enjoyment with reading the newspaper. People enjoy many other activities more than television, yet the average person spends sixteen hours a week watching television. This is because television is convenient, undemanding, and inexpensive.

    So I started with a question about what resolution might I make for the new year of 2003. I wondered if I could do a better job of managing my time. I looked at research into how the average person in America spends their time. I have discovered that on average we have more free time today then my parents had when they were my age, and that the average person uses forty percent of that free time to watch television, although they say that there are many other things that they enjoy doing more.

    As a child growing up in the 1950s I found television fascinating, and I watched a lot of it, as much as my parents would allow. When I went away to college I intentionally did not have a television in my dorm room or my apartment because I was worried about how much I would watch if it was easily accessible. When I started to serve as a minister I intentionally did not own a television, because I feared that living as a single person in a apartment I would find it too easy to sit and watch TV and not get out and be with people. Today, we have a television in our home. With others in the house I am more likely to limit my watching, but we have no cable or satellite connection. Often when I see a television I think of Wendell Berry who wrote, "As soon as we see that the television cord is a vacuum line, pumping life and meaning out of the household, we can unplug it."

    So one part of my personal New Years Resolution is to continue to work on limiting the amount of television I watch. But what do I do with the free time I gain in turning off the set? In my study of time management, I have several times come across a psychologist with a name I cannot pronounce. It is spelled Csikezentmihalyi. His research demonstrates that people are deeply refreshed by activities of either a work nature or a leisure nature, which he terms "Flow." In flow experiences, which may be as diverse as playing guitar or performing surgery, the challenge presented by the activity, and the skills of the individual, are closely aligned. When the skill exceeds challenge, it produces boredom. When challenge exceeds skill, the result is anxiety.

    Sports players talk about being "in the zone"—that moment in baseball, or hockey, or football, or tennis, or golf, or soccer when your body is coordinated perfectly with the speed and the distance from the ball to the goal. When your body is conscious of you and the other members of the team, and you shoot the ball perfectly at the goal or make a perfect pass to a teammate. I have seen it.

    Musicians also speak of the same experience. Thirty years ago I saw Pablo Cassals in concert a few months before his death. At ninety-two he was wheeled into the Frank Lloyd Wright Concert Hall at Arizona State University, his head down. He moved into a chair. His wife handed him his cello, and he came to life. He played a beautiful song from Spain about peace. The entire room was in the flow, was in the zone that evening.

    When the challenge and the skill level of the participant are in balance, however, individuals may totally give themselves to the activity. Flow is more likely to occur in activities where rules and regularities let the individual concentrate on doing the activity rather than on figuring out what is permissible or appropriate. In such cases, there is a constriction of attention on the activity, a tendency for the individual to act with greater assurance, and most telling, a loss of consciousness of time itself. For once time becomes irrelevant.

    It happens here. Mary Darne and I were talking about last week's 10:30 p.m. Christmas service. Mary talked about how she had completely lost track of time as she directed the choir. I had the same experience as the service unfolded.

    To achieve this flow experience requires patience and commitment. Most important it requires that I be fully present in the moment. If I am always checking my watch, the deep spiritual renewal that accompanies letting myself go, temporarily losing sense of time and self, is almost never experienced. The Zen Master Thich Naht Hanh wrote:

    While washing the dishes, you might be thinking about the tea afterwards, and so try to get the dishes out of the way as quickly as possible to sit and drink tea. But that means that you are incapable of living during the time you are washing the dishes. When you are washing the dishes, washing the dishes must be the most important thing in your life. Just as when you’re drinking tea, drinking tea must be the most important thing in your life.

    So my New Year’s Resolution, which started out as a question about time management, ends with a promise to remind myself in this new year of what I already know, but which I so often forget. To live responsively on this earth; to care for my family; to help others as best I can; and to try my best to be fully present in each moment. Given that none of us know how many hours or days we have, it seems healthy to me to try to see the joy in the every moment.

    Source: Time For Life, The Surprising Ways Americans Use Their Time, Second Edition, John P. Robinson and Geoffrey Godbey, Pennsylvania State University Press, 1999.


    Office@CedarLane.org

    Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Church
    9601 Cedar Lane, Bethesda, Maryland 20814-4099
    Tel: 301-493-8300    Fax: 301-897-5713
    e-mail: office@CedarLane.org
    Sunday Services at 10 a.m.
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