Transitions
Roberta Nelson
March 31, 1996
Cedar Lane Unitarian Church
Bethesda, Maryland
A few weeks ago at our teacher appreciation dinner, Cindy Duranko, co-chair of our Religious
Education Council and a sixth-grade public school teacher in Montgomery County shared with us
a story about how her team of teachers is trying to work with young people whose negative,
hostile, self-centered behavior is keeping them from becoming productive, positive members of
the school and eventually society. They are being invited to work with the teachers on designing
a plan for improvement and change. She went on to thank our religious education staff for the
work they do here at Cedar Lane in mentoring and I would say ministering to our young people.
The energy and creativity that our children receive and the changes and growth we see is truly
remarkable. Cedar Lane young people are not immune to the pressures and behaviors that have
become so prevalent in our society.
I chose to address this theme today because we have just witnessed some of the energy, creativity,
imagination and vision of our sixth grade Growing-Up-Year class and have honored the men and
women who have played a part in their religious development.
David Hamburg, president of the Carnegie Corporation of New York, writes in Great
Transitions: Preparing Adolescents for a New Century, "The problems of adolescence deal with
deep and moving human experiences. They center on a fateful time in the life course when poorly
informed decisions can have life-long consequences. The tortuous passage from childhood to
adulthood requires our highest attention, our understanding and a new level of thoughtful
commitment."
The Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development issued the results of a ten-year study about six
months ago. It should be must reading for every group that has an interest in young people ten to
fourteen years of age. Although it is a sobering report, it has very concrete suggestions for
change and some inspiring success stories. My only complaint about the study is that it does not
specifically talk about the role that the church can play in mobilizing for action and change in the
lives of our youth.
If asked, there are very few of us who would choose to live our adolescent years over again.
Most parents face the adolescent years of their children with great anxiety and worry. Many
parents, teachers and community leaders feel overwhelmed by the many issues and pressures
facing young people today. Recruitment of volunteers to work with this age group is often a
monumental task. The above images, feelings, concerns, anxieties are a burden for adults but they
result in a negative message to our young people about who they are and what they represent. I
often ask myself which comes first, the chicken or the egg. I remember asking my oldest daughter
once, "When are you going to start acting out?" Her reply, "Do I have to?" spoke loud and clear
about my expectations. Having parented three young women through those years, I can honestly
say they were not as bad as I feared or had been led to expect. That is not to underestimate the
real trauma that some families face. Placing blame somewhere will not help. We need a
collective and holistic approach to the problems and issues.
I love this age. Our youth have the capability to articulate what they believe, to sort through their
values, to act on their convictions and to demonstrate idealism. "These years are the most
fascinating and complex transitions in the life span, a time of accelerated growth, expanding
horizons, self discovery and emerging independence," according to the summary in the Carnegie
study. Young adolescents offer us a unique opportunity to help shape enduring patterns of
behavior that can influence their life journey.
Times have changed dramatically. Growing up was more gradual and cumulative. In spite of the
vulnerabilities, children grew up in communities of shared values, simpler technology and slow
social change. Adolescents in that era spent more time with the family or other adults. The
current scene is quite different. Today there are remarkable material benefits, opportunities for
skill building, travel, exposure to a wealth of ideas and values, and increased demand that they be
more independent with less influence and direction from their elders.
The report list the following issues as critical:
dramatic changes in the familyless time spent with adultschanging structure of workearlier reproductive capacity, yet later marriages and careersdominance of the electronic mediaa more pluralistic culture
None of these issues needs to be life threatening if we respond with care, concern and support.
But we ignore them at our own peril: personal tragedies, wide-spread disease, disabilities,
incompetence, crime, violence, alienation and hatred are possible outcomes.
Education in the middle grades can make a positive difference in the future of young people, yet
this level of education was largely ignored in the educational reforms of the 1980s. Turning
Points, a 1989 Carnegie report on adolescent development took a major step toward filling this
gap. It outlined eight principles for educational transformation:
creating communities of learning with stable personal relationships with teachers, individual
attention, supportive groups, smaller classes.providing a core of common knowledge with less fragmentation through interdisciplinary
curriculumproviding for successstrengthening teachers and principalsre-engaging familiesdeveloping health and fitnessconnecting with the community
I would welcome a community-wide dialogue about these issues and I would challenge parent-teacher associations in our middle schools to engage in dialogue with other parents, teachers and
administrators on how we can move collectively to reduce the risks for our children.
There is no group in our society under more stress and pressure than our families. Instead of
blaming them for some, if not all, of the problem, we need to offer skill building and support for
the tasks at hand. All the research indicates that young people develop best when they have a
supportive family characterized by warmth and mutual respect. Such families provide protection
against the risks of engaging in self-destructive behavior.
What can families do? Families can
reinforce family values and help internalize a value system that guides behaviorteach that living in relationship requires balance between self resect and respect for othersteach self controlprepare for independence and adulthood
A church member approached me about starting a support group for parents of middle school
children. Unfortunately, the course did not get any registrations in the adult education program.
You have a second chance. If you are interested in being part of such a group, put your name and
phone number on a piece of paper and give it to me. We will be in touch with you.
Karen and Gary Allen in their book Roots and Wings, write that "the church with a strong
program is a constant reminder that there is more to life than sports cars and hot tubs." A church
community offers perspective, insight, affiliation, support, identification and vision. We all need
companions on this journey. We need hope and affirmation. We need the transforming power of
hope and courage.
In a few of our classes we have talked of the enrichment mentors could offer our young people.
Such a program does not have any real form or content at the moment. It is an idea. If you
would like to be part of such a program, please give me your name. A few of our churches have
such programs with proven success. We can learn from them and develop one that meets our
needs. I believe our young people would benefit from the rich resources of your lives, as well as
your friendship and support.
How we invest in the roots of caring and sharing, teaching and relating, will be the basis for the
wings that enable children to become whole persons. It is the most valuable legacy we can leave
our children!
References:
Allen, Karen Lawrence and Gary Gene Allen, Roots and Wings: Discovering and Developing
Family Strengths. Cleveland, Ohio: The Pilgrim Press, 1992.
Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development, Great Transitions: Preparing Adolescents for a
New Century. New York: Carnegie Corporation of New York, 1995.
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