Dear Mr. McCartney,

I have read in the newspaper about your Promise Keepers rally on the Mall next Saturday. According to the paper several hundred thousand men will gather on the Mall for an assembly of prayer and revival. It says that city officials expect 4,100 special buses and 400,000 cars to bring in participants. Participants have nearly filled hotels in the area. Airlines report that participants have almost filled regular flights into the city. Promise Keepers have thirty chartered jets scheduled to land at Dulles and fourteen scheduled to land at National. This impresses me.

I read that the Promise Keepers organization is setting up a 48-foot by 80-foot stage, twelve huge viewing screens, and 1,500 portable toilets for the six-hour gathering that will start at noon and end at 6:00 P.M. This impresses me.

I read, Coach McCartney, that you started the Promise Keepers back in 1990 in Boulder, Colorado when you were still head football coach at the University of Colorado. You started with seventy-two men and last year Promise Keepers attracted more than a million men to twenty-two gatherings in football stadiums across our nation. This impresses me.

I found the Promise Keepers statement of faith on your web site this week. Summarizing what I read there, I found that:

1. Promise Keepers believe in the trinity of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
2. Promise Keepers believe that the Bible is literally true. You believe that the Bible is God's written revelation to man, verbally inspired, authoritative, and without error in the original manuscripts.
3. Promise Keepers believe in the virgin birth of Jesus, in the miracles recorded in the New Testament. You believe Jesus' death on the cross provided for your redemption. You believe that God bodily resurrected Jesus and he ascended into heaven. You believe that Jesus will some day return to earth.
4. I read that Promise Keepers believe the Holy Spirit is active inside them and enables them to lead good lives.
5. Promise Keepers believe that each human is a sinner. You believe that only believing in Christ's death and resurrection can save people from sin.

As a Unitarian Universalist I have an entirely different theology.

1. I believe in God in the sense that I believe a unity underlays life and the universe. However, unlike you, I do not believe in the Trinity. Priests created the Trinity at the Council of Nicea in the year 325. It has no basis in the Bible. The Biblical passage that the Promise Keepers give to justify the Trinity, (Matthew, chapter 28, verse 19) was added many years after the death of Jesus. It is not in any way part of the original teachings of Jesus.
2. I believe the Old and New Testaments are fascinating books, filled with stories, history, poetry and wisdom sayings. I believe that people, not God, wrote the Bible and that there is much I can learn by studying it. However, unlike you, I do not believe that the Bible is God's written revelation to people, nor do I believe the Bible is without error.
3. I believe that Jesus was a human being and a great teacher. He taught among other things that we should love our enemies and that when someone slaps you on the right cheek, we should turn the other as well. I believe Jesus told the story of the good Samaritan as an example of how we should live. I believe Jesus said, "Congratulations to the poor, for to you belongs Heaven's domain." However, unlike you, I do not believe in the virgin birth or the bodily resurrection of Jesus. These passages in the New Testament were added many years after the death of Jesus and they are not consistent with either my reason or my experience of life.>
4. I believe that within every human being is a spark of divinity, a spark of goodness. I believe that if we nurture this spark of goodness children can grow into sensitive, compassionate men and women. I also believe that no matter how corrupt or evil a person might be, they also have within them this spark of divinity. My belief in this spark of divinity comes from my own experience in the world and from what I have learned about human nature from the Quakers. However, unlike you, I do not believe that the Holy Spirit is dwelling in people like yourself and this Holy Spirit is absent in people who do not share your views.
5. I believe that people are born with the potential for both good and evil. I do not believe in original sin. I believe an attempt to follow the teachings of Jesus is one way we can live a good moral life. However, unlike you, I do not believe the Bible is the only way to a good life. I believe we can live good, moral lives by studying Buddhist, Islamic, Jewish, or Hindu scriptures. I do not know what happens to us after we die. However, I am confident that if heaven exists after death, heaven is not a place that belongs only to people who believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus. As a Universalist I believe that, if heaven exists, all of us will be blessed with universal salvation. Universalists believe in a God who loves all the people of the earth.

I also found the "Seven Promises of a Promise Keeper" on your web site. Your seven promises include honoring Jesus, creating vital relationships with other men, building moral and sexual purity, building strong marriages, supporting the church, working toward racial and denominational harmony, and obeying the Biblical passages that state there is only one God and one truth and that people should spread the word of that truth. Your seven principles are general enough that I can agree with much of what they say.

1. I also honor Jesus.
2. I also pursue vital relationships with other men. Over the years I have been involved in men's groups and these groups have made me a better person.
3. I am committed to building moral, ethical and sexual purity, although I am not sure we agree on what is moral, ethical and sexual purity.
4. I am committed to building a strong marriage. However, I am not sure we agree on what is meant by a strong marriage.
5. I agree that I should commit myself to supporting my church.
6. I am committed to reaching beyond racial and denominational lines. However, I do so, not to show the power of biblical unity, but because of my belief in the common humanity of all people. Therefore, I believe in reaching out to both Christians and non-Christians.
7. Finally, I do not believe that only one truth exists or that I should spread the word of that truth. I have found wisdom in the Bible, but I have also found it in the scriptures of other religious traditions and in science, philosophy, poetry and music.

Coach McCartney, when people who share my basic beliefs surround me I am tempted to conclude that I have arrived at the one truth. I am tempted to assume that everyone should believe as I do. But, I have visited many Jewish services during my life. I have spent many years getting to know Jews and learning about their efforts to live good lives and to have healthy families. I have also visited Islamic Temples and I have gotten to know Islamic people. I have met their children and learned about their hopes and wishes for their families. I have also visited Hindu and Buddhist temples and developed friendships with Hindus and Buddhists. Because of these relationships, I find it impossible to proclaim that I have the one truth and that God condemns all these other people to hell because they have religious beliefs that are different from my own.

Coach McCartney, when I looked deeper into your positions on several issues I found that we have significant disagreements. I read that in your years as a football coach, you pressured players to join you in prayer before each game. I certainly support your right and the right of individual football players to pray. However, I believe that group prayer led by a government employee at an event paid for by government funds is a violation of the principle of separation of church and state. To preserve the extraordinary religious freedom we have in the United States, it is important that no government official have the authority to impose a particular religion on anyone.

Coach, I read that in 1989 you delivered a speech to the anti-abortion group Operation Rescue and called abortion "a second civil war." This statement frightens me because this violent language has contributed to an atmosphere that leads to the murder of people who help women exercise their legal right to choose abortion. This is personal for me because the wife and stepdaughter of one man who was murdered are today members of my church. Your words frighten me. Like you I do not like abortion. But unlike you I support the right of a woman to choose abortion.

I read that in 1992 you supported Amendment 2 in Colorado, a measure that banned civil rights laws that protected gay, lesbian and bisexual people from discrimination. You said at the time that "homosexuality is an abomination of Almighty God." On your Promise Keepers Internet site, I read that you believe that homosexuality violates God's creative design for a husband and a wife and that it is a sin.

This frightens me. The Bible passages that you claim support your position in Leviticus, Romans and Corinthians are in dispute. Biblical experts disagree about whether the Bible teaches that homosexuality is wrong. We do know that Jesus says nothing about homosexuality, although he does say a great deal about loving others. However, even if the Bible does condemn homosexuality, I am not a Biblical literalist. I also use my reason and experience to understand the world. My reason teaches me that the cause of sexual orientation appears rooted in our genetic make-up. Some people are born attracted to persons of the same sex. Studies have shown that gay people are no more psychologically sick than heterosexuals. For these reasons I believe gay people should have the same civil rights as all other people. Coach McCartney, you are not really a Biblical literalist, either. If you were, you would live like a Hasidic Jew, for they come the closest to Biblical literalism of any religious group.

I read that the Promise Keepers call for men to reclaim the leadership of the family. You base this on a literal interpretation of the words of Apostle Paul: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Your use of this biblical passage encouraging women to be subservient to men troubles me.

I was also troubled to discover that several women's organizations have sprung up made up of wives of Promise Keepers. I have read about women's groups called "Heritage Keepers," "Promise Reapers," and "Suitable Helpers." The founder of Suitable Helpers stages conferences to show a wife how to submit to her husband out of reverence for Christ. She says, "God has a perfect plan in the Bible: Man and woman are supposed to submit to God, and women are supposed to submit to man." She adds, "I don't think a woman should submit to abuse or fear. But if a man is doing what God has instructed him to do, then a woman should submit."

Nevertheless, I fear that men will see this as permission to be harsh and abusive to their wives. I agree with the U.S. Catholic Bishops' study that said: "Promise Keepers rhetoric seems to drive toward a view of the man as in charge because he is a man and urges him to take back from his wife the role of family leader. Nowhere in Promise Keepers literature does one encounter the careful treatment about the equality and mutuality of women and men as one would find in the teachings of Pope John Paul II." Apparently even the current pope is more progressive than the Promise Keepers when it comes to describing marriage relationships.

However, I looked through newspapers for examples of women whom their husbands had abused after the husbands had attended a Promise Keepers conference. Although this admission will get me in trouble with my friends, I must confess I was unable to find evidence to support this charge. The only evidence I could find suggests that the men who come away from your rallies appear to treat their wives with more respect.

For example, Promise Keepers wives interviewed at the July Promise Keepers rally in St. Louis spoke of being equal partners with their husbands. They said that Promise Keeper events had made men more sensitive and willing to bear difficulties. They said, "Men here seem to learn it's OK to be emotional, to talk to each other about feelings."

One woman wrote a newspaper: "I speak as the wife of a Promise Keeper. As the leader in our household, my husband in no way demands submission or tries to control me."

Another wife of a Promise Keeper wrote a newspaper saying, "If the statement that 'men promise to take back all the power in their marriages' translates into breakfast being served to me in the mornings, laundry being put in the hamper in the evenings, and blessings prayed over me before going to sleep at night, then I'm all for it."

A man writes, "Men are the targets of Promise Keepers, not women. Men are taught how to be better husbands and fathers. We are taught that to be real men, we should honor those commitments we have made to our spouses and children."

Another said, "They're telling us to praise our wives, to show us how to better take care of women. We're just a bunch of guys trying to figure out how to do things right."

I still worry about your use of the passage from Paul calling for wives to submit to their husbands. I worry that it may lead to men abusing women. Nevertheless, the anecdotal evidence I could gather suggests that although you talk about submission, men may be learning from your teachings how better to respect their wives.

Coach McCartney, it seems to me that your Promise Keepers movement has tapped the same male anxiety that Robert Bly's best selling book Iron John tapped in the early 1990s and that Louis Farrakhan's Million Man March tapped in 1995. Many men do not feel strong or sure of themselves as we come to the end of this century. Clearly some men need to gather and support each other in developing a better understanding of what it means to be a man in America at this time.

However, I don't think your Promise Keepers Movement is the right answer to better defining the role of men. As a minister, as a man, as a husband, and as a father, I find your Promise Keepers troubling. Unlike you, I do not believe that homosexuality is a sin or that abortion should be outlawed, or that women should submit to their husbands. I do not believe in the Trinity, or in original sin, and I certainly do not believe that your religion is the only true path.

I do believe in the value of many of Jesus' teachings. In every person I find a spark of divinity. All the world's great religions have ideas from which I can learn. Gay men and lesbian women are good people. They have a right to live their lives as they wish and they deserve the same respect that I show to others. All women should have the right to decide on abortion in the first few weeks of pregnancy. Men and women in marriages should treat each other with equality and respect. Neither should dominate the other. I promise to stick by these beliefs.

Coach McCartney, during your visit to Washington, I invite you to spend a few minutes in the Capitol Rotunda. You will discover that Congress has made a new addition to the statues in the Rotunda. For the first time in our history, statues of women now appear in the Rotunda. They are the statues of women who led the effort to give women the right to vote. I urge you, Mr. McCartney, to study the lives of these four women. I believe that it is they and not you who brought out the best in men in this century. They taught men that we can live fuller lives by treating women with the equality and respect they deserve.

So Coach, I invite you to visit the Capitol Rotunda, and may you have a good visit to our nation's capital. (Although I must confess, I am praying for a heavy rain to fall next Saturday afternoon.)

Sincerely,

Reverend Roger Fritts
Senior Minister
Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Church
9601 Cedar Lane
Bethesda, Maryland 2081

Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Church
9601 Cedar Lane, Bethesda, Maryland 20814-4099
Tel: 301-493-8300    Fax: 301-897-5713
e-mail: office@CedarLane.org
Sunday Services at 10 a.m.
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